"There's no smiling at OCS."

Now that the Navy has moved Officer Candidate School back to Newport from Pensacola, the Providence Journal has published an 8-part series about the ins and outs of the Navy's least known commissioning program and profiled some of the candidates and staff.

Even for folks like Ruth and I who already knew more than we wanted to about OCS, it's a fascinating series. It's usually very difficult for me to read and watch a huge package of articles like this, but it was well worth it in this case.

But don't just listen to me -- Ruth has greatly enjoyed the series both as an OCS grad and as a photographer. She's very impressed by how well they've represented the OCS experience.

BTW, Ruth was in good shape when she reported, and has always been strong for her size, but because of injuries to her knees and hips suffered during the rigorous program it took her 62 weeks, most of them spent in rehab and getting even stronger than she already was, to complete what was at the time a 13 week program.

[NOTE: I changed the last paragraph because my original phrasing didn't explain why she was there a long time, which left open the possibilities that someone would think she was a dirtbag or just someone that reaaaaaly loved living in a dirty WWII barracks in Floribama -- something one of the doctors accused her of, believe it or not.]

"What is 'A cover I never guessed I'd hear,' Alex?"

Found at Matt Welch's blog.

Homebrew diary: Copper ale bottling

I'm actually posting this about a week late, as it's mainly for my own reference, but I suppose those of you with RSS might see it.

The copper ale was the batch I brewed & transferred to secondary in a big hurry at the end of February right before we left on our road trip, so it's been settling in the secondary for almost a month. It probably needed it, as this was my first "mini-mash" batch; my lack of proper equipment left me with a lot of tiny grain bits in the boil. I didn't see them while I was racking, and the bottom of the bottling bucket was plenty clear.

I got 43 bottles out of this batch. I've checked my measurements several times, so it's pretty clear at this point that I'm sacrificing a six-pack or so to the trub on the bottom of the primary fermenter. Getting those extra six bottles either involves more complicated racking/pouring/filtering, or taking more trub to secondary and bottling -- since I like the amount of work I'm doing right now and the quality of the end product, I'm not going to bother.

I don't have a hydrometer after an accident last week, so I'm flying blind until I put in another homebrew order in a few weeks. However, the sample we tried from the bucket was EXCELLENT. If previous batches are any indication, this should be a fantastic beer in a month or so.

Public service announcement

You may have problems in court if your attorney is an unemployed leprachaun.

A coda

Our Easter brunch for Ruth's friends and fellow students who don't have any family in town (that's "Geo-Bachelors" in Navy lingo) was a resounding success. I will be eating ham sandwiches all week, but that's a cross I'm willing to bear.

I also have multiple volunteers for homebrewing assistance, which I'll be taking advantage of later in the week.

However ... to follow up on my "EXPENNSIVE BROWNIES!" post -- the brownies were, in fact, well worth the second mortgage ... but since two unexpected desserts showed up, they were COMPLETELY SUPERFLUOUS except as fodder for a funny story. I guess I'll be feeding my brewing assistants this week...

Wherein I keep my cool...

So we're having Easter brunch here tomorrow (potluck, thank goodness). While planning with Ruth today I realized that what I'd thought was maybe a half dozen people was going to be more like twice that many, and only one person is bringing a dessert.

No problem, I figure I'll make brownies while I'm warming up dinner tonight.

So when I have everything but the mix together and ready to go, I open the box of brownie mix and discover, to my dismay, that this was the one thing in the pantry I didn't throw out when we had parasites a couple months back. Eeeeeeeeewww. And one more sign that I still fail at being houseboy.

No problem, Ruth is putting Theo to bed so I'll run to the grocery.

So I get to the store, grab a box of our fave Ghirardelli brownie mix and take it to the least busy register.

I greet the checker with my usual friendly "Hi, how are you," and she looks at me like I'm a filthy hobo who just ran out of the house in his worst clothes to buy brownie mix. Of course, she's an older lady, with a red dye job and an Uncle Buck mole, so maybe everyone in this lane gets the free evil eye.

As she's ringing the brownies, I swipe my bank card and start the dance of many button presses necessary to use my bank card as credit. As I do, I hear her say -- You'll have to fill in your own "Old lady from New England with a long relationship with Joe Camel" accent here:

"THAT'S AN EXPENSIVE BOX OF BROWNIES."

For real? That's your conversation starter tonight? Um...$3.79. Yeah, OK, I think to myself, so they're not store brand or whatever, but check that label. WALNUTS. In the MIX. And they're using chocolate from a company that's really good at, you know, making chocolate. Something important in brownies, the last time I checked.

I look up from the card machine to see her looking at me expectantly, as if her eloquence is about to send me running for Duncan Hines. Wanting (Lord only knows WHY) to remain polite, I smile and reply

"Yeah, they're really good."

At the same time, I win the game of "memory" required to recognize my card at this grocery. She pulls the receipt and tries once more to rescue me from the fudgy, nutty penury I'm about to eat myself into. Shaking her head in disappointment, she says,

"EXPEEEENNNNSIVE BROWNIES."

For about half a second, a completely foreign RAGE tries to force its way out of my brain, screaming things like "YES! MY FAMILY HAS ENOUGH MONEY TO SPLURGE OCCASIONALLY ON BAKED GOODS!" or "THANKS FOR JUDGING ME! EVER CONSIDER THAT I'M TOO FUCKING HEAVY TO EAT THESE MORE THAN TWICE A YEAR, SO WHEN I DO I'D RATHER NOT EAT CHALK?"

But I realize...this is obviously a miserable person. I was as friendly to her as anyone could've been all day, and all she can do is convene a session of food court over my dessert choices. She probably hates this job; I'm sure I would, at 7pm the night before Easter.

Heck, maybe she's even hoping that starting a fight with this hobo will get her fired. And why give her that pleasure? I fold up the receipt, grab my jewel-encrusted box of brownies and look her in the eye, smiling the whole time.

"Thanks! Have a good one!"

A not-so-modest proposal

Public Health Risk Seen as Parents Reject Vaccines -- NY Times

I've read a bit of anti-vaccine propaganda as I was researching cloth diapers and baby carriers. I also got to read about the oft-related practices of "family bed" co-sleeping and why your baby needs to nurse until they enter high school, but that stuff doesn't really affect me or my kids, so to each their own and the less said about it the better; it is breakfast time after all.

So having read what these parents have to say in their own words, when I read articles like this, I just think to myself that I'd rather hang out with flat-earthers or evolution deniers, who are at least more up-front about hating science, the enlightenment, the expansion of knowledge and the whole idea that humans can make the world better for themselves.

In fact, would it be so bad to clear out a big island somewhere like Madagascar, and dump both groups in caves with some lit torches and pointed sticks? Maybe in a few thousand years, when the survivors have invented seagoing vessels, they'll be equipped to rejoin the rest of us.

The current residents of Madagascar? We can move them to the suburbs to take the nice houses and good jobs left behind by these stone-age throwbacks. I'm guessing they'd actually appreciate them.

It's like a four-day holiday if you play it right, kid.

Today I'm teaching Theo about "March Madness" and "busted brackets."

I've already warned him that everything I'm talking about will make a lot more sense when he can skip work and get drunk.

Things I never thought I'd say, IM edition

"Sorry I had to turn off the computer. I was losing a battle of wills with a 10-month-old."

Here's what they think of you

WARNING: Politics ahead.

If you're not yet fed up yet with the size, scope and attitude of government in this country maybe Hawaii's smarmy, preening self-important Rep. Neil Abercrombie (D-Arrogance) can change your mind. If nothing else, I have to appreciate him for expressing the government's opinion of itself so clearly.

You'll have to bring up NPR's audio player to hear the story. He starts talking at about the 1:35 mark and goes on for almost a minute. Also note the spirited applause as he finishes.

Don't ask me my opinion of the ethics reform at issue here; I'm always skeptical of the ability of the powerful to police themselves. But if you don't think to yourself "Throw the bums out" (all 535 of them) and "A pox on both their houses" after listening to this, I don't know what else could convince you...

Confidential to JK...

I may only have a boy (so far), but there are ways to negate these sorts of shenanigans...

Some jokes never die

I realize I should be posting about the roadtrip the boy and I just took, but there's other things to be done; I just want to point out that jokes about the long neck of Merton Hanks are ALWAYS funny.

Carry on.

We made it

Not really news, since more than half my readers are here with me, but still, good news. All went well. He hates his car seat -- after he woke up for the day, he insisted on stopping every couple hours, but we still managed to make the trip in 14 hours, exactly as I'd hoped.

We made it in just before the crappy weather started, and now that snow and sleet have started in earnest, we're not going to see Theo's great-Gram today, which was the whole reason for the trip. Too bad, but we'll be here long enough that we can still make it down...

Wish us luck

I'm leaving overnight tonight on a 760 mile trip, just me and the boy. I figure there's a lot more one-parent trips in our future so this one is practice. Let's hope the Penn. Turnpike is nice to us...

Comments on my news feed

The articles in the sidebar are the last 10 articles I've added to my Google Reader Shared Items feed. I often wonder if anyone bothers to read them, so I figured maybe if I added a permanent place for people to post comments about them, I could find out.


Just a note about these links: Usually I'm posting them because I find them funny, insightful or interesting (in that order), but I have nothing of value to add that would justify a separate post. If I do agree/disagree strongly with an article I'll usually say so in the main blog. Don't interpret the presence of a link as agreement with or approval of the sources or opinions you might find in that link.

With that said, post away. If by some happy chance this thread grows too long to be useful, I'll create a new post and reset the thread.