Why I don't say every word that pops in my head

I took Theo for a long-ish walk today down Lower Thames St. and back, because we hadn't been down that way in a while. I'd forgotten, until we passed by the yachting center that this weekend is the Newport Spring Boat Show. Not to be confused with the Newport International Boat Show, which is of course in the fall. Phhht. Landlubbers. Luckily, it was early enough in the festivities that I could still navigate the streets without being forced into the street by hordes of old men in white pants and Top-Siders; but I doubt we'll walk that direction again this weekend.

As we passed by the just-barely-starting festivities, I could see that a marketing team from show sponsor HUMMER had set up their booth in one of the parking lots with several of their vehicles and plenty of product literature. They looked kinda bored, so I briefly considered making their day by stopping and screaming over the fence...

HAVE FUN FEEDING YOUR FAMILIES WHEN GAS IS 8 BUCKS A GALLON, PIGS! DOES YOUR IN-TANK NAVIGATION SYSTEM HAVE LISTINGS FOR THE UNEMPLOYMENT OFFICE?

...Because I'm a representative of my wife and by extension the entire USN family, instead of pretending to be an ELF commando, I just kept walking.

And as I thought about it, these guys are probably selling HUMMERs in the right place. If you're coming to Newport with the thought of buying a boat, you don't care if the car runs on $8 gasoline, condor eggs, or the blood of hobbits -- you can probably afford it, and an H2 or 6000SUX or whatever is probably the perfect ground transport to park in the back of your shadow yacht.