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I was just reading Stan Hieronymus's take on the Miller Lite Brewer's Collection. I should take pains to point out, as Stan does, that Miller does not expect me to look at or think twice about their beers, much less drink them.

However, that doesn't stop me from shaking my head with despair at his email interview with Miller:

First, it’s important to note that these are not intended to be craft beers and are not targeted at craft drinkers. These are craft-style light beers. Additionally, “all malt” is one, but not the only, criteria that defines craft beer. The Brewers Association describes craft as beers brewed with a traditional process using malted and specialty grains, hops, water and yeast to deliver the aroma, taste and appearance characteristics not typically found in mainstream beers. That’s what we’re delivering — a unique consumer taste experience not typically found in light beers and consistent with craft-style beer.


What Stan doesn't quite say outright, presumably out of courtesy (lucky I have none) is that the whole point of Miller introducing "Craft-style light beers" obviously has nothing to do with creating a quality product or convincing their fans to expand their taste in beer.

In the end, their internal justification for these products is no doubt to temporarily boost margin growth by slapping the trendy "craft" label onto a slightly more expensive container of the same old grain adjunct beverage -- see also the words "Ice" and "Red" back in the mid-90s.

But of course, I'm far too cynical to think that's their only goal.

In Miller's perfect world, each of the 85% of people who drink the standard macrobrews will walk into a beer store to buy Miller Lite and see the familiar Miller Lite label on one of those "craft beers" he's been hearing so much about. He'll remember how he didn't think that Sam Adams he had at his brother-in-law's party last year was half bad, so he'll pick up a six pack.

He'll drink a couple, and decide that they're pretty good, for dark beers -- but that they're not so much better than his Miller Lite that he needs to spend more money on them. In the end, the next time he's out with his buddies and has the chance to drink an Otter Creek or Allagash or Flying Dog or Lagunitas, he's going to say "Oh, yeah, I tried one of those 'craft' beers. They're alright but I think Miller Lite is just as good."

And the Miller Brew Marketing corporation smiles, as research shows they've watered down the "craft beer" label sufficiently to keep smaller breweries from pulling any decent portion of their market share. Soon enough, the "Brewer's Collection" vanishes from shelves and distributors everywhere as Miller decides to reinforce their core brands by investing an amount equal to the total annual revenue of five smaller breweries in a series of ads for "The High Life."

UPDATE: People who know more than me call these sorts of stories "conspiracy theories" and "wacky shit"; and granted, I don't see C-suite execs at Miller signing off on a business plan that comes down to "We want to make our upstart competition look bad by associating them with inferior product."

But on the other hand, if a doofus like me can identify "decreases consumer interest in craft brands" as a beneficial side-effect of following their usual strategy of slapping trendy labels on product barely discernable from their flagship brands, why wouldnt' they reach the same conclusion?