The great thing about being Daddy? I can go to the park and ride swings, use the slides and goof off on the playground equipment as much as I'd like, as long as I have Theo nearby.
Of course, the second I set foot onto the wood chips without the boy, I'm "creepy old dude" and there's going to be police involvement. The venerable C&D research arm, which I like to call "The Global Institute for Pulling Numbers Out of My Ass," has found that the general population's perceived threat from a lone male goes from 80% to 0.4% the moment you give him a baby or toddler to carry.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
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6 comments:
If its any consolation, I think you look like a creepy old dude all the time, regardless of whether you're holding Theo or not.
Darnit, Counselor, I had a good response composed before you deleted your comment. Hopefully you're going to repost.
BTW, can I call you "counselor" yet? Or do I have to wait until you're a young break-all-the-rules defense attorney and I'm a gruff-yet-fair-and-wise trial judge in a made-for-TV crime drama? Because I can totally rock the black robes and say things like "I'll allow it" and "You're skating on thin ice here."
Never mind, I retract the question. I'm going to start calling you "counselor" whether it's appropriate or not.
I agree with whoop_dang you are part of the 0.4% that is still darn intimidating even with theo strapped to your chest.
Not to put to fine a point on it, but once a person has a toddler of infant in tow, don't they cease to be a "sole" man. Did the researchers run any tests on other pairings, man woman, man dog, man horse?
As to your question, counselor is good, plus I think you may have found a new calling as a TV judge (they let Starr Jones do it after all), however we will have to wait until I can accept the title of Esquire of the court. (Oh to be British and get to wear foppish wigs.)
Yet you chide me for being paranoid about pushing a strange kid on the swing if they ask me to while my daughter is in the swing next to them? ;)
Counselor, I refer you to Section 1, paragraph 2 of the Institute's charter, which reads in part, "Work is for suckers. Let's just make something up over a beer."
James, as soon as you're seen in public with Ally or Katie, you become a gentle, kindhearted father spending precious quality time with your angelic children; if Megan isn't around, you're also a ray of hope that someday all men will spend more than their share of time with their children to give some much-needed rest to their wives. Show up at that swingset alone, and you might as well be wearing your John Wayne Gacy makeup.
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